Gosh, I feel like all I ever do it work! I've worked 13 days straight now and I don't have a day off until November 2! (my birthday!) So, natually, I havn't had time to login to this site in a long time! i hope that all my friends are doing well.

I got a spider bite on my nub and I'm pretty sure it got infected ... which isn't very good at all. My nub keeps getting smaller though, which is awesome! I can't wait until my trips to my doctor to get recast become less frequent! My hair has gotten pretty long (although you'd have no idea just looking at my pictures) I may put up some new pictures in the next couple days.

I've got to go for now, must get ready for work. Talk to you all soon!

TOPIC: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and it's impact on you

"I'm sorry Ms. Groeller, but you have cancer." - This was the most surreal moment of my life. I sat there with the phone in my hand, perfectly silent, trying to absorb the words that had just been uttered into my ear. Two days prior to this phone call I had seen the doctor because of a pain I was experiencing in my lower left leg. I never imagined that that leg pain was an eight and a half-inch malignant tumor that was growing inside of my left tibia.
It was mid-April when I was pulled out of the few remaining months of my junior year of high school to begin intense rounds of chemotherapy. Every three weeks I traveled two hours to the hospital where I underwent four-day-long rounds of chemotherapy. During each round four different chemicals were injected into my blood stream in an attempt to kill the quickly multiplying cancer cells. After the first round of chemotherapy I lost all of my hair - just two weeks before my junior prom - and began wearing wigs. At first it was extremely difficult to loose my hair. I had always taken pride in my long brown hair, and I felt defeminized by the loss of it. Junior prom went suprisingly well - no one noticed I was wearing a wig. After this I underwent three more rounds of chemotherapy before I was informed of more bad news.
The tumor had grown down into my ankle. The only way that the doctors could be sure that the tumor was dead was to amputate my lower left leg. I was given a choice: I could either keep my leg and risk being left with an active tumor in me, or I could have the leg amputated. As difficult as it was, I chose the amputation. My leg was taken from me at the end of July.
In the movie Must Love Dogs, John Cusack's character says, "I think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the ---- beat out of you ... cause that's the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place." I am a firm believer in this idea. Fighting to survive cancer definitely "beat the ---- out of me," and loosing my leg caused a lot of pain and heartache, but the fight changed my view on life. Being sick all summer and having to make a choice about my treatments made me more mature because it made me realize that small, trivial details (such as what color eye shadow looks best on a brunette) do not matter. All the pain brought me to a more mature, independent point in my life. I had never thought that I would feel alone - I had always been safe and protected at home - but fighting cancer was something I had to do alone. My family and friends were all there to support me, but I was the only one that could keep a positive attitude and ultimately beat cancer.
I have been cancer-free for over two months, and I feel amazing. I wheel around in my wheelchair without anything covering my head, and I speak at different schools about my battle with cancer. Fighting cancer was the hardest experience I have ever come across, but I believe that it has brought me "to a better place" in my life.