It seems like forever since I've been on here.  Things aren't going the best for me right now.  For a while things were really good, but as time went by, the "novelty" of my amputation went away and reality sank in.  As the last few months have gone by, everyone got used to the way I am now.  Everyone except me.  Sitting at home doing nothing all day for a year can really get to you.  I was only out of the house for thereapy, and the weight became unbareable.

Jean and  I spilt up.  I moved out about a month ago and I'm staying in a spare room at my friend's house.  The strain of my emotional state became too much for her.  Now as the hurt is the hardest, all I want to do is reach out to her, the one I went to every other time, but she's not there anymore.  We're "trying" to work on things, but no matter what hope I cling to, she's there to tell me why it's not good.  I have to learn to do things on my own.  Not do things, but deal with things.  Times like these I'd play guitar.  Can't do that anymore...

How did you guys do it?  When everyone was "back to normal" and accepted the new you, but you weren't there yet.  How did you deal?  Where did you go to?  What helped?

I'm in school again.  Learning AutoCAD and designing.  The goal is to go back, but this time in the Engineering Dept. instead of the shop floor.  School keeps me busy during the day, but at night, it's just me and my thoughts...  All my other friends are at work or sleeping because they have work the next day.  So alone is how I sit.  I'm running out of ideas here.  Not sure what to do.  Nothing feels like home as I need my own place again.  Haven't lived on my own since the accident.  Not sure how to go about everything.  Not sure how to go about anything...  Any ideas?

  I know I have been kind of quiet the last few weekls so I would like to take the opportunity to fill everyone in on my goings on...

  My prosthetic is "on the way" as the like to tell me. Even tho it's a workers' comp case, I still get the usual runaround from insurance, even when I go where they send me. Eh, it's alright, my Drs are good to me and with me every step of the way.  Plus I have my lovely fiance by my side.  Still, we're eagerly awaiting my new arm...  We know it'll be mechanical, but aside from that, it's all gonna be new.  First the mechanical, then, after a bit, it's bumping up to myoelectric.  Very interesting stuff...

  Aside from that, Jean and I are slowly realizing how much work we're in for.  It's tough at the moment. making these decisions, but we know it will all be worth it in the end.  We're still deciding on the date and whether or not we can do it next year or the year after.

  Well, that's what I've been up to lately.  Nothing much to report, but I am glad for the concern.  Thank you to everyone!

-Paul