.....one  year today since my dad passed on, he was 61...and I miss his physical presence.  He was 'seriously' diabetic and suffered a heart problem, despite being abled, he tires easily on long walks (as excercise) especially uphill more than I do...I could do a marathon till my ottobock knee gives way but then....sigh............he did suffer for a couple years...  He was one person, the only one in our family of five who really stood out for me.  He was active in non-profit organizations like Goodwill Industries(for the disabled) and had been of service to people with disabilities(he would hire them to do some fixing in the house, although a 2 days work for an abled body is 1 week for an amputee, but nevertheless his patience was amazing).  I might say he's pretty biased towards amputees because of his daughter:), figuratively he had a BIG heart, and he's BIG on compassion...IRONICALLY but literally he had an enlarged heart....tears....tears....he gave whatever he can so I could walk well...he's a bit vain too, haha....but I guess there would always be something obvious when you're walking with a prosthesis.  I know that he's in another realm, another dimension wherein all these sufferings are non-existent.  And he's happy.  He's always been concerned for my happiness but the anxiety brought about my handicap was always there.  But now he's happy.  And we both know now that this physical body is very temporary.  I did lose my leg physically but I know when I reach the other side, I won't be needing my prosthetics because all the while I never really lost my leg.  I can still feel it,  it's how I look at it whenever I feel phantom pains or whatever.  And when I do see my dad again in the next realm,  I know I'll be taking walks with him, carefree and no worries for the both of us.  I miss you, dad...I know I thanked you well enough..I'm still thanking you for everything that I am now,  I truly appreciate who I am now, both the good and the bad side.  I embrace my uniqueness because you showed great compassion to people like me.

  Having lost a limb a decade or so ago was a big blow....not that I can't do the things I loved doing before...I loved the outdoors...but I also LOVED partying, dressing up...just looking good. . .it took some time for me to finally accept my fate...I kept telling myself and a very few others that I would have fully welcomed it if it were some disease that struck on me, something that I definitely would not have control of. One of the first things that was handed me in the hospital was my pair of pump shoes, a sort of gift from mom. Shoes....I just loved them. When I did therapy, all I thought of was: what kind of shoes can I walk with now? After doing therapy in New England(US) and feeling that positive energy inside me, I went shoe shopping. . . ha! All those designer slip on shoes just flew off my artificial foot! Getting a reprimand from my Filipino therapist definitely did not help but it was a wake-up call. You can be 'normal' but you have to choose your shoes wisely! Shoes played a major part in my travels in the past. I would definitely shop for them but this time, I've probably grown wiser with age. At 36, I would still wish to wear stillettos...or even those serious-looking pump shoes I had back then before the accident. That's about it. I own a better pair that works perfectly well for me. All my shoes are rubber soled. I buy shoes that would work perfectly with my prosthesis when I walk with it; no longer something that would suit my whim or myself perse. My prosthesis is my best friend now. I know I can't live without it and it stuck by me through the years. It has brought me places without a hitch. It didn't fly off my stump. I just wanted it covered with cosmetic foam and skin tone stockings. Maybe a silicone base cover next time.