so i had a thought. my thought was, why are amputees portrayed in such negavtive ways? and why are people so harsh towards us? let me start by explaining my second question.
whenever i go to stores, and i park in the handicapp spot, i get out and i am bereated with stares. people point adn make mean and ugly faces towards me like im FAKING being there. it got so bad for a while that when ever i was in town, i use to wear shorts or park somwhere eles so i didnt have to have people stare at me. as some people no i HATE using crtuches. some times i feel limited enough already, so i dont like feeling more so. so i just limp around until my leg feels better. but people can be so RUDE! i have a few friends with severe back problems that have handicapp tags. they have said people gripe at them to. for those who dont know, you dont get those tags for NO REASON! i was so upset over this that numours times i tried getting my mom to *send* back the VIP passes * as my lil sister calls them* so people would leave me alone.
one day i got so fed up with it. i went into town with my lil sister adn we parked in the handicap spot. 1) it was th only one open, 2) my leg hrt. so i get out of the car with my little sister adn this man comes up and starts YELLING AT ME that im so ungrateful adn a bad person and that life would be better off with out * us people* i calmly looked at the man, rolled up my pants leg showed him my leg and then stood there staring at him. his jaw LITTERALLY hit the pavement. then i rolled down my pants leg, grabbed my sisters hand, and i walked off.
now the first one. people think that because im an amputee, that i cant do things. all throughout elementary school i was allowed to do nothing. since this was my sulking period * refer to other blog* i didnt tell my parents. the school didnt let me do things like the other kids, or they did but not to the dgree. if i wanted to be treated like a china doll, i woulda dressed like one. i had to keep sucking it up and PRESSING for me to be allowed to do it. like GYM. not allowed to do the monkey bars because of my leg??? since when do you use your LEGS for the monkey bars?
idk it seems like an awful place to live when people are judgey when they dont know yuo. thats why im not judgey. i always hated it..and i hated people doing it to me.
so...dont judge other people, because they might be hiding something under there sleves, that you cant see from the outside.
i remember thinking when i was little that wishes could make everything go away, adn if that didnt work then i could pray. i use to pray all the time when i was little. nothing truly religious, just thank you god here, or it was a great day therer. it really made me a better person. but then when i got to the age to pray for myslef, i started wondering why i didnt have a leg. i wasnt born without a leg. it was amputated when i was 2, for reasons that still beget me. as i got older, i thought it wasnt fair and i didnt know or want to know why i was the only one in the family like this.
so i started praying to god. i prayed everyday for at least three years, asking him for my leg back. i wanted to be able to run with the other kids, and climb trees and RACE and be KID. i couldnt do that missing a chunk of my leg, and not being able to fully function with the peice of crap one that i was forced to use. when god didnt *answer* my prayers, i thought he had given up on me. i thought that maybe he was ignoring me for something that i had done that i had had no control over. so i ignored him back. i prayed when my mom made me and i prayed in church, but i ignored god for almost two years.
then i met with a priest, because my mom could see how angry i had become. she took me to him to answer my question of why god was ignroing me. the priest looked at me with all the wisdom in the world and told me, * God isnt ignoring you. you got your leg back. just not the one you wanted. God does listen, adn he does answer your prayers*
from then on i thought a little harder about things. and so should you.
maybe you lost your leg to cancer. but did you maybe wish your cancer was gone?
this weekend was awesome!!!! i participated in the HAUNTED POOL. i was strapped to a table adn Spence * an amazing guy* had a fake chainsaw * well it was real but without the blade * and he CUT my leg off and we had blood everywhere and id scream and UH!!! it was soooo much fun! then afterwards i got to go and meet with people and everyone was like YOU WERE SO GOOD IT LOOKED SOOOOOOOOOOO REAL@@@@@@!!!!!
Hey >4!!!!!! omg it has been a long time since i have been on this site! life has gotten pretty hectic now that i am a senior in high school!
last year was great. the end of last year i got on of the leading roles in the musical ANNIE! i was MISS HANNIGAN! it was so amazing dancing and singing! theres not really anything new going on now, although i am particiapating in a *Haunted Pool* this weekend.
thru a friend of a friend, i have a gentlemen that will be * sawing off* my leg with a chainsaw! its going to be so cool!
