Hello again to all my friends and future friends. And anyone else. I have not been on here in such a long time.I was going through alot the last couple of times i was on here and i have to tell you that being lonely is not for the faint of heart. I met the most beautiful lovign and wonderful man. His name is Ryan. I never thought that I would get married again. Not me. Battling cancer amputee three kids and a crazy ex. God knew that i was lonley and when i finally fell on my face before God and told him desperste i was to feel what it was like to really be IN LOVE not just getting married because of circumstances. He heard me and he led me straight to ryan. He and I had met several different times before but he was a friends flame though they never dated she acted as though they had and so i considered him of limits. He and i had spoken only but a few words in passing to each other. On this night though it was different. It was years later and my friends is now married and pregnant. She came and stayed with her mother while her hubby was deployed and the week before she left to go back home we had a going away party for her. When we arrived our table had accidentally been givin to a different party so we had a make shift table placement and i being in my wheel chair ended up on the end of the table by myself. Well, after a while of sitting watching everyone talk this handsome man walks in and he just looks at me and smiles soo big and he looked me straight in the eye. my friend had saved him a place next to her at the table but being the awesome guy he was told her that he wasnt going to let me sit alone. Thats all she wrote we started talking that nught and havent stopped talking since. He is the one and only for me. He loves me unconditionally, he wants me to smile and be happy as I do for him. I dont have to work my ass of to make him happy he apprecitates me. My kids LOVE him. He embraces all of me and all that I am. I LOVE YOU RYAN K. M.

<3 your wife, Melissa A. A.k.a. g00gz

Well hello boys and girls .... lol jk !!! I love everyone .... So in my last post I was havinga pity party and a few of you really brightened my day!!! But I do have an announcement to make I have been proposed to by one of our very own ABE!! He and I will be getting married in 42 years. lmaooooooo unless we are involve with other people!!!! THANK YOU ABE YOU MADE MY DAY :)

I am guessing that out involvement with the first set of relations IS the deal breaker huh .... you tell me WHATS THE DEAL BREAKER????? Lmao

IT YOU DO NOTHING AT ALL TODAY SMILE ITS CONTGIOUS AND ITS A VIRUS WORTH CATCHING AND PASSING ON....... I LOVE LESS THAN FOUR THANKS TO WHO EVER STARTED IT !!! THANK YOU....

<333 BUH BYE g00giE

Sooooo anywho I have been missing everyone and just now getting back to the internet and stuff. I was also wondering if anyone knows how  to change my main profile pic . Not that I want to change it everyday but people change and look differently as time goes so I want a newer pic. LOL is it too much too ask !!! hahaha So how is everyone doing. I am now divorced and happy. But im having a really hard time thinking I am going to be alone the rest of my life. I cant meet a guy that likes me for me or is interested in what im about and doest treat me like im retarded ... is there a such thing ??? well i hope so i wish i could met  aguy that will just understand and not move from me to the next to this tom and yadayada yah hurd meh??? lol ok enuff feeling bad for myself for now talk to all later

melissa aka googz

i typed a long and drawn out blog. I am actually on the very verge of tears . The whole blog was from my heart. My busy brain and thoughts of a lose screws and almost nuts person. the point I was makin is void now. I was expressing my feelings of talkin to a void in which there is not even an echo. The void i was talkin about was less than four. I fell that I have invested alot of feeling in this site that i totally happened upon. I was acting as though it was all your faults that nobody talks to me boo hoo and blahh blahhh but then I kept typin until i realized that this site has been my friend. I have read blog after blog everyday and have grown as a person. I have done nothing but learn from all of you. The astounding strength drive and go that each person has. Even the people that are in the days of darkness and have no hope the people tht feel like giving up. You teach me too. You are not that bad off. You have all of us. and I have all of you. I now think of you as silent friends. I cant hear you voice. But I know your there and I know that your listening. THANK YOU!!! I want you to know. Im listening and I will continue to listen as you continue to talk. Soooo talk to me !!!!

Thank you again for taking the time to listen,

Your silent friend GooGz

So I love this site but sometimes i feel like maybe Im talkin into a smoke filled wind ..... HHhhhhhhheloooooooo.......... Maybe I am just a person that likes to talk to people on a regular and on going lets make a friendship type basis. Im sorry if I sound like I am whinning. I am. Im stuck at home feelin blah and not having much of a social life. So I enter the world of less than 4 to talk to people like myself. I have made a few friends that a somewhat regular conversation has partially takin hold of. ;) thank you to those of you... Im not saying that nobody talks to me boo hoo but I am saying that i think that i have put to much hope in having good friends/ confidants through this website. I enjoy EVERY SINGLE story that I read and have read and will continue to read. I have found that people astound me with their strength and drive. I think that every page that I have read I have thought to myself " I'd Love to me this person"... I have so many thoughts in my head about getting together with other people "like" me. I see tv shows like LITTLE PEOPLE BIG WORLD, they have conventions for little people. It makes me want a less than four convention. I think of all the friends that Id make and have and all the stories being swapped and the laughs. The things in my head are so perfect. Having cancer and being an amputee gives you alot of time that I have spent alone, In the hospital. Being alone alot either gives you a mind of on going hopes and dreams and imagination. If ands or buts.... Or it makes you crazy. I think it has made me a little of both. Some of the screws have come lose and are lost in the chaos that is my mind. And now you all have become a part of that. A part of my if ANDS or buts. I cant say that i have no where to go to have friends. Or that nobody listens. You are. You the person that made it to the end of this sad woe is me page. all I have to say to YOU is thank you. You really dont know how much it means to me to be heard. Even through the wonder of technology. I like to listen to. Talk to me. and Ill listen and ill be that silent friend to you. and again

THANK YOU,

YOUR FRIEND GOOGIE