Well the mystery of just what my wife would do on Halloween has been solved.  She hid.  We have two bags of candy to gorge upon.  She took one to work and kept two in the cupboard.  We've been eating Peanutbutter Cups since I got home.

  My problem is this -

  I'm not really sure when "Begger's Night" is this year.  In this part of the U S of A, Trick or Treat and Halloween don't necessarily fall on the same dates.  Generally the trick or treating happens a day or two before Halloween itself. Either way I'm not going to be home those nights.  I should be in Tennessee visiting a friend.  My wife is staying home.

  This is the first Halloween we've spent in this town.  We have no idea on just how much candy to lay in for the kids.  I know there are a lot of them around here, just how many go out from door to door is the unknown factor.

  At the old place we only had a couple kids show up each year.  We'd buy a couple bags of "Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups", turn on the porch light at six in the evening and wait.  At nine we'd turn off the light and always have at least one unopened bag of candy left over.  That bag would usually last a couple of days while my wife and I binged on sugar.

  My dilemma - How much candy should I buy?

  Do I want to risk leaving my wife at home alone with only a couple bags of candy?  I don't want to come back home and find my windows covered in soap scrawlings describing me as a (insert suitable explative here).  Or should I go all-out and really load up on bags of the stuff?  I also don't want to come home and find my wife in a diabetic coma.  (She is and will.)

  I've considered alternatives to candy.  Coins?  Only fun for me if I heat them first and kids now will only take Visa.  The price of fruit quickly ruled that out.  I've consider some other items too.  Scoops of ice-cream, ladlesful of hot soup, beer....  The last few items are being filed away for next year when I can be home to watch.

  At ten I was a Roy Rogers fan in the biggest way possible.  I wanted to be just like him.  I had a cowboy hat, quiet a few cap pistols, an imaginary horse and pretty much everything else.  What I didn't have were real cowboy boots.  I had boots that looked something like cowboy boots, but they lacked the heels.  They were basically flat as pancakes on the bottom.  Even so I wore them until they fell apart.

  Fast forward 40 years...  I was shoe shopping and I spotted a pair of cowboy boots that looked to me like the ones I had as a kid.  Red and blacke leather uppers but these had heels.  They were in the correct size and most importantly marked way down.  Way way down.  $15.00. I had to have them.  I was well beyond "mid-life-crisis" and I hadn't quite shifted into "senility mode", but I bought them anyway.

  When I got them home, problems began to arise immediatly.  How do I get them on my feet?  I couldn't really point my toes and just pull.  I crammed, I stuffed.  I yanked.  I tried shoe horns.  Nothing worked well but they were finally on my feet. 

  Next problem...  My feet are designed for very little variation in heel height.  They can go from maybe 1/2 an inch to almost a full inch, but not the two inch leap.  I had a choice.  I could get my heels on the floor and stand erect, but the toes wouldn't touch.  Or I could get both the heels and toes down flat, but I couldn't straighten my knees.  This wasn't too bad on my right side, I have a real knee there.  The left side just wanted to buckle.  Frump.

  Since I was late going to meet friends for dinner at a local resturant I decided to risk just navigating with just my heels hitting the ground.  I looked like an idiot, but I did find one ray of hope.  The resturant had a ramp.  Using that my feet actually hit the ground.  At least going in.  Out would be another story.  I had to back down the same ramp.  I could have died of embarassement.  How did I get into this situation? 

  What brings this up is the other day I was cleaning out the bottom of my closet and found my black and red cowboy boots, tops crushed by the weight of other things tossed on top.  I looked at them and gave them the pitch.  I don't need footgear that mocks me.

  Halloween is fast approaching.  I can tell this because the stores are setting up Christmas displays.  I love Halloween.  I love movie monsters.  Not the new breed, the old Universal ones.  My personal favorite was always, "The Mummy".  Not the new rehash, the original with Boris Karloff.  There was no special effects in that, just really good make-up.  One of the reasons I personally identify with him was that he had been dead for 3000 years and was still in love with the same girl.  That's sweet in a mildewed sort of way. 

  A lot of things were left unsaid in the movie.  Like just where does a mummy go to get English lessons?  And where'd he get the dough to set up such classy digs in downtown Cairo?  Why the girl didn't take him back is another mystery.  The hero was such a wus.  If someone offered me immortality and a bunch of money to boot, I'd be there in a (speaking figurativly) heartbeat. 

  Years ago I worked in a "Haunted Theater".  I got the chance to play "Im-hotep" with the full  Karloff make up.  It took hours to put on and I did this every night (mattinees on Sat & Sun too) for a week.  Ecsept for the make up the job was easy.  I just stood in my coffin and came to life.  If it came to actually moving, I had the lurch down pat anyway. 

  OK  Jay has all the technical stuff down pat.  I'm lucky if I can get online. 

  Here's my contribution to how much things cost.

  This is a finely crafted reproduction of an 18th Century "Ball and Claw Table".  Cost $30,000.

  This finely crafted Flex-Footed table also costs $30,000.00 

   Which will still be worth the money in 5 years?