This is going to come off terrible I know.....

 It seems like every time I visit the site I come off really melancholy afterward. I don't know how to explain it. I really enjoy many of the people and the blogs. There has been a load of info that I have found here that has been extremely helpful and informative. Its just that after I have spent a lot of time reading through I am bummed instead of bolstered. There have been bad days, especially in that period right before getting my prosthesis, when I had too much time on my hands, that I tried to start feeling sorry for myself. But that is counter productive and will lead nowhere. I have to get through it, get over it. It is what it is and there is nothing that will change what is other than my will.  If I am going to be the person I want to be and get back to doing the things I can do then I cannot view myself as disabled or crippled. I have to look at doing things like I have always been this way and its just a minor obstacle.

I hope that I can continue to carry the conviction of this ideal. For all I know I may still be stuck in denial.  I have always been the provider in my family. I have always been the one to lean on, and I must get back there. I realize its prideful, but it is who I am. I equate a lot of my self worth and usefulness to my productivity and ability to provide for my family. I realize that I am not the same as any other person here in relation to the exact nature of injury and that I may or may not have all the same problems, but I see so many people posting about renewed issues, new surgeries being required, aches, pains, etc. I don't know, I think that to a certain respect I want these things to come as they may, not for me to sit around and worry myself about when or if they are going to happen.

There are many here who are bright lights and pure inspiration. It may just be the fear and uncertainty about my future that seems to amplify the bad things rather than focusing on the good. I have to do some healing in my own mind before I can start dealing with the realities of not only my, but other people's situations. I am almost sure that I will change my mind, but as of right now I have to say "ta". I wish you all the best.

I have been almost a week with my new prosthetic. YAY!!!

I am curious. What are you fellow BKA's doing about long legged pants to wear?

I have many pair of relaxed fit jeans and cannot wear them due to the bottom of the leg not fitting around the top of the prosthesis in order to adjust socks and so forth. I don't know what I should do. Obviously I cannot live the rest of my life wearing shorts and sweatpants.

Especially when it comes to dress clothes I am at a loss.

I have never been a particular fan of the extremely baggy "ghetto" pants. I have considered stiching a line up the inside seam and cutting about halfway up the knee. I am wondering how bad that will look. I thought to install a zipper or something to keep it closed, but being out of work doesn't allow me much money for alterations either, and sewing isn't one of my strong suits...lol guess I have time to learn?

Anyway, what are y'all doing about pantslegs to fit over the prothetic?

Thanks ahead of time, and Happy Holidays to all of you.

Martin