Hey bro, always remember that u will always be an inspiration urself to so many, especially to ur family. U, as many of us experienced denial. To me it's normal dude. U just need to stay and fight it. All will fall into place for u. Don' let ur limb b the cause of a downfall. U need to believe in urself and then move forward. Everyone has limits, not just us amputees. We r all the same no matter what. U now have a purpose in life, maybe in a different direction. Yet still as a father, a husband and a friend, that all remains the same. Dude keep ur chin up and ur spirits high. Stay positive and believe.

Brother life is how you see it! You are still early into this. You are still in the greiving the person who you think you are supposed to be not the person you are. I have found with my MC accident it took almost a year and a half before I was really comfortable. My accident was in April of 05. Dodge sport 4X4 vs my 2000 Victory Sport Cruiser. My leg came off (Above knee) in October due to infection. In that time I lost 105 lbs. I didn't recognize the guy in the mirror. I did not know my own strengths (mental or physical) I am now almost at the three year mark from the accident. I still have my family. I have been retired from one job and at the age of 42 (and employment equity) I am stating a new career. I have gone to university and passed courses when I only had a GED. I have a much better sense of who I am and what I have to offer. I have the sense after all of this that no matter I am going to be ok. The good guy I was has turn into a better guy that I am. Be easy on your self learn how to ask for help and how to accept it even when you do not feel worthy. Amputee or not we all have challenges some unfortunately hide it. Have a good one!

Hey Martin,

What did you do for work before you were injured? I was a car salesman and an evangelist, kind of a contradiction, wouldn't you say? But I was actually an honest car salesman, really. The company that employed me actually paid my insurances for almost 18 months so I could go back to work after all was said and done. They liked having me around because I wouldn't lie for them or cheat people just to get a sale and that made me always number 1 or 2 in sales each month.

I am telling you this because I was not able to go back to what I was doing because of the complications I had. You will find that life is in a constant flux, your a sci-fi fan, you know what I am talking about. It constantly changes, but if you look at yourself with a negative attitude or now as a disabled person, then you will be and you will poison all around you with your attitude. You look like a real man, not some pansy who wants to sit down and feel sorry for himself because life wasn't fair. Life was never promised as being a fair deal and I wouldn't want to live in such a utopia as that would be. Look at yourself now and be an example to your wife and kids and stop sulking. Depression is a state of mind in many cases and you don't have to choose to dwell there if you don't want to. Show your kids what a real man does in this situation and pick yourself up, shake off the dust and figure it out.

I like some of these sites, but you have to be careful not to get sucked into the woe is me attitude. I have no tolerance for those who want to stay in the prison of a self imposed pity party and who attempt to make everyone else suffer along with them... You will find great victory here as you look at those who took their liabilities (disability)and turned them into an asset. That is what you need to do. Look at the ones here who refused to give into their disability, who refused to give up, who refused to sink into the depths of self pity and self destruction. It is at these times we find out what metal we are made out of, whether steel or oatmeal, what are you?

Hopefully, your friend...Dave Harper

Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Hi Martin: I have written this before to others here, but I think it bears repeating as it was one of the hardest things for me to work through....

I tried to live up to what I "thought" were other people's expectations of me because I didn't want to let them down or make them think I "gave up." It drove me into the ground trying to prove I was okay and that I was the same "Jo" as before. My over-achieving approach toward life was reinforced by all the people who told me, "You're amazing! - I would fall apart in your situation. How do you do it?" After nearly driving myself to a nervous breakdown and physical exhaustion, I realized it was time to slow down. Now I don't care if it disappoints anyone. I have come to realize that I need to be proud of myself first and to keep my health. This meant adjusting and accepting the "new" me. If others wanted to be proud of me - great. For those that could not adjust - well, they weren't really real friends in the first place. Interestingly, only recently, I have discovered that no one really ever expected me to be the "Old" JO. It was a pressure I came up with in my own mind.

Now when someone compliments me on how I handle my life or says I am an "inspiration" -I can honestly accept it because I am being my authentic self.

Give yourself time. Be patient. And start being as active as you can, so you can feel a sense of accomplishment. Even the little things. Write or talk to other amputees--your legmaker should be able to recommend any local groups, or use this site. You are NOT alone.