Well god damn...It's Russel Simmons!!  I feel like I just got squeezed outa toothpaste tube!! Holly shcmackaroozle!!  Im glad thats behind me. I did it. I said F That!! Go ahead and cut it off. I felt like a wolf trapped trapped by pain paralyzed in the wild, I was ready to chew it off my self.

 Lucky for me I didnt have to, I went to Albany Memorial Hospital and on June 19 I  had amputative surgery. BTKL or something. Its now 9 days post op and things are getting better every day. The wound site looks good and is healing well. I see my ortho surgeon and the PT/ Prosthesys director tomorrow-10 days post. I think Dr Dixon will take out the staples- hes quick like that- and Tim will take it from there as far as PT & such goes. Nothin to it but to do it. 

  Any advise on getting startad with getting fited or working with prosthesis modeld would be great.

When I was 5 I was hit by a truck while riding my bike. Long story short, I injured my L foot and after 20-30 reconctructive surgeries from 1976-90, I have been able to lead a 'normal' and productive life with no limitations.

In may of 06, a scaffolding collapsed while I was on it. I fractured my L foot and havent been able to recooperate. My specialists have all agreed that it is now a degenerative condition. Ive been living with chronic pain since the scaffolding incident and it has been getting progressivly worse.

Due to the inherent condition of my ankle, fusion doesnt seem to be very promising. Im waiting for a sympathetic tibial nerve block to be performed, but I wont be able to have it preformed until December because there are no earler openings.

If that procedure doesnt provide a significant amount of pain relief then Im going to have to make some serious decisions.

Like I said, I dont have a very good feeling about fusion. I have a combination of ademia/swelling, arthritis, nerve, bone, joint, and soft tissue/tendon pain.

A successful fusion would ony eliminate the bone/arthridic pain. I dont want to go thru a surgery, deal with PT and everything else that goes with rehabilitation, not to mention all the time lost-(did I mention I have a daughter whos 7?) only to face the very likely possibility that Ill have to go thru another surgery to amputate.

I really dont know how much the nerve block will help, but seeing as its the only other option at this time I need to try it. The thing is, I'm so sick and tired from hurting all the time. Even with all the meds im on-fentanyl 75mcg patch, hydrocodone, effexor, gabapentin, and ibprofen- Im in constant pain.

Its effecting my relationship with my wife and daughter. What ever I decide to do I just want to be able to enjoy life and do things with my family besides going to Dr. appointments.

I cant go anywhere without the use of a cane or crutches, havent gone to the zoo or amusement park in years, and feel like Im a constant burden to my family. I know Im not, they're completely loving and supportive and Im fortunate to have them. Still, I feel like ****. This experience is draining the life out of me and I want it back.

The longer this goes on the more strongly I think that amputation may be my best choice. All I know is that I cant keep going on like this.

So here I am at one of lifes crossroads. I saw a blurb on CNN about this site and Im glad I did. Any feedback, advice, jokes, or correspondance would be most appreciated. I obviously have tons of questions and would like to prepare myself physically and mentally for whats to come, or in this case- whats to go... ha ha ha

Im really glad that this site is here. While my family is completly supportive I do feel very alone at times, angry at others, and quite often scared. Thanks for listening